Thursday, February 11, 2010

Life Lessons # 4 - Life Altering Events

"When you come to the edge of all the light you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, either there will be something solid for you to stand on, or you will fly." Patrick Overton


So now we have Life Altering Events -- This will post will not be as long as the other posts in the "Life Lessons" series this week. We all these buggers in our lives at various times. No way to get around them. They can be as far ranging as a death, an illness, or a birth. The "life-altering" part is up to each individual to define. The loss, by death or separation, of a loved one is always held very close to each of our hearts and souls. The way we deal with it is another matter. I will say, in all instances, the loss of a child ranks as the top loss, followed by spouse, mother, etc. Here are two of my life-altering events:

(1) The first traumatic one for me was the loss of my mother. Shortly after her death in October of 1998, I met a woman at a party whom I did not know. However, she ended up being the "messenger" and explained to me why the mother's loss was traumatic for the child. She stated that the mother is the giver, the nurturer, the one you always turn to. She explained the death of this parent would be more difficult than the father (he died in March of 2000). She was right. My mom was a registered nurse who retired at 65 and at 67 had a massive stroke. She lived five years in the nursing home and then died suddenly. This was the last photo taken of her with her sister (my Aunt Mary). Two of her siblings were visiting from California and it ended up that the only two people who had to fly in for the funeral was my brother and me. Hmmm, she always planned stuff out and maybe, in the grander scheme of things, did this one too.

Mother (on the left) and Aunt Mary is the photo that you see in the blog banner and one of my fav photos that I use all of the time.... Sisters forever.


2) My brother is maybe the only person I know who would show up with his camera in the ICU. I swear, there was a time, in that room, that I was really ready to jump out of that hospital bed and beam him with his camera. Hello, my hair is sticking straight up. This was taken two days after my open heart surgery to replace a bum aortic valve. OK, he was also the one who said, "don't go into the light" as they were wheeling me in for surgery. OK, baby bro... you were pushing it then because I was flirting with the male nurse and my brother is distracting me! Geez.....



OK, back to the post, this was a life-changing event. Prior to the surgery I was so tired I could barely climb to the third floor to get into my two-story condo. By the grace of God (and I mean that sincerely) I had started working out with a personal trainer on July 4, 2001 (and still have him to this day). This is one reason my heart was strong and was able to recover so quickly. The doctors didn't have a clue how I was able to even walk around with the valve as damaged as it was. Ahhh, it just wasn't my time. And I'm happy to report that I had so much energy after this surgery - wooooohooooo - I still thank God for my recovery and the blessing of energy that came with this event.


Yes, in the summer time you will usually find me on the tennis courts 5 days out of 7. It has been a blessing that little titanium valve. Following the recovery, I began to get into more artistic endeavors besides just scrapbooking that I was involved with. I started traveling and went to Germany, Paris, London, and Estonia. Life is short, enjoy it to the fullest. To end this ramble, I am borrowing a quote from a friend's post today on FaceBook (thank you Cindy, sorry I didn't ask before copying it here):

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, ...let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it." - Author Unknown.

Here's to you baby brother (whom I very proud of - but don't tell him...) My favorite song he wrote is God Knew Your Name. You can listen to it here.

12 comments:

Unknown said...

Wow Marlynn that was a very moving, open entry into your blog - Thank you for reminding me that life is precious - I am so glad that you can still each and every day and that you have such a treasure for a brother. Bless you and long may you create your wonderful art and play tennis xxx

Anonymous said...

It is amazing - your ability to put down, in so few words, such thought provoking ideas! It almost made me cry. OK, I admit I cry way too easily, even at commercials....maybe the need to alter the meds...hahaha. Maybe it's the amazing snow we are having. Maybe it's knowing all the players about whom you are speaking....but to read that which you have written in these posts is jsut prophetic and worthy of second and third reading. Such it is you get something new on each read. Keep up the treasures of tidbit.....very good! VLG

Terri said...

Thank you for sharing about your life altering events. I am so glad that you are well, and moving along such a path that pleases you.
What a joy to be alive! So many opportunities!
Hugs

Debby said...

Marlynn, you just never stop amazing me. You have done a great job of reminding me just how precious our lives and loved ones are. I am so glad to have found you. Your brother is very talented and sends a powerful message. Thanks so much for sharing with us! I for one hope you can play tennis and get your fingers full of paint & glue for many, many years to come.
hugs,
debby

Annette said...

I love this entry and especially the photo of Mary and Marty. I was astonished at the number of folks already there when she passed on. Takes after Grandma maybe?

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

This post has to go down as one of my favs, because it is so touching. You just never cease to amaze me.

And by my clock, it is now Feb 12. Happy, happy birthday, dear friend.

Unknown said...

I'm glad I stopped by today. That quote at the end covers it all. Words to live by for sure! Thank you for sharing it all, including your sticking straight up hair. :) Happy Birthday, FRiend!

Lovey said...

Oh my...Marlynn, what amazing testimonies from your life. One never really knows what another is going through until it's put into words. Your strength is encouraging...your wisdom...a blessing...your Heart..a gift from God. I adore your spirit and your willingness to love others with all you've got. Your post is very moving...as I know the loss of my mom was earth changing 2/25/06. The joy of birthing my son Nov. 3, 2006 after learning of his expected arrival the day of mom's funeral...life altering to give me FAITH when it wavered from the loss of her. The loss of my best friend at 40 the same year as my mom and birth of my son...devastating12/24/06 but with a NEW LIFE in my ARMS...Bearable. God is...Everything...I'm glad He gave me a Friend in You!...unexpected, unplanned and simply so very refreshing.
My Heart to Yours...

Lovey said...

I LOVE THE SONG! Beautiful...

Lovey said...

Happy Happy Birthday...Happy Happy Birthday...Happy Happy Birthday to Yooooooouuuuuu!

~*~Patty Szymkowicz said...

very moving post dear M!
I guess if we live long enough ... OK I'm not going to say it
thank you for putting into words what I feel in my heart and for sharing with us all!

very glad you got a tune up too!!!
oxo
word verification: "trali" as in trali tralaa tralapuppup
is that from the Sound of Music? :)

Jann said...

Hi Marlynn--I've been reading a lot of your blog posts because I just found your blog today, and I wanted to let you know that I jumped over to your brother's video page, and the song is just wonderful--so sweet and so loving. I was trying to find a post that maybe told how you acquired "Harley" but couldn't find the beginnings of your blog--at any rate, I'm glad I found you, and I'm just so inspired by your positive outlook on life, especially when having suffered through so much--take good care and God Bless You!