Batears Olafsen a Neglected Murderess

Now, let me ask you a quick question, boys and girls, "If someone called you bat ears, wouldn't you want to hack their ears off?" A simple question. Just imagine how dear Sarah Jane felt when at school the little chant going around the playground:
Sarah Jane had thirty bats
in her ugly green-gray hat.
Sarah Jane had two big bats
that served as ears to hold her hat.
Sarah Jane, Sarah Jane,
Born un bred in a stinky cave
lost her way to her lonely grave.

Born and bred in Bindweed, OR, it is said that she hacked to death 19 loggers between March 1904 and November 1907. Yes, boys and girls, she HACKED them to death. Now please note that our dear Edward Gorey said she "hacked to collops 19 loggers." NOTE the use of the word "collops" - translated means slices of meat. She ate them boys and girls, yes, she ate them. No wonder it was only 19 in 3 1/2 years.

I bet the doorway behind her is a lovely little smokehouse. The word collop is of Scandinavian origin also meaning a Swedish kalop stew. Beware, loggers, her ghost still walks the land in Bindweed.

There is another twist to the Gorey tale - Bindweed is a pernicious weed, a tenacious plant, which has bindweed gall mites that gnaw on roots. Yes, that is where our fair girl Bat Ears Olafsen is from.

Well, kitties, let us let her rest in peace. Deer slayer she was not. Dear slayer she was. How many hearts broke hers? We will never know since she decided to eat them instead. She and Hannibal would have been great friends, she was just born to early. Nite nite, sleep tight and don't let the gall mites bite. Yum, yum.... logger meat for dinner tonight. Yes, the crock pot is rockin'.

Yes, another odd fact for 2009

Yes, boys and girls, one more odd number day..... What I found on the web for the significance of today:

September 9, 2009, is the 252nd day of the year, 252 adds to 9, and 09-09-09 = 27

09-09-09 is also the last of the single-digits dates for quite a while - 92 years to be precise.

It is also the upside-down number of "the beast" - satan + 666, of course.

The day itself falls on a Wednesday and both Wednesday & September have 9 letters

"9" is pronounced "jiu" in Chinese which sounds like the same as the word "forever" so couples want to get their marriage certificate today.... Go figure...

Happy 9th to all of you out there.... and a special Birthday wish for Paula - who turns 39 on 9-9-09! Yes, sweetie it will be a lucky year for you ........ better than the last one!

Edward Gorey is tripping thru the Honeysuckles

Yes, he is, as only a Gorey can trip over the honeysuckle vines, he claims I am trying to murder him. So we will now call forward Miss Jane Marple to solve our next neglected murderess crime for August. It seems Miss Emily Toastwater smothered her father after evening prayers in London S.W.7 in 1916. But, was it really Miss Emily or one of the others, I ask???

I am taking a stand here, Mr. Gorey, and I proclaim that Miss Emily is innocent. The same as I sincerely believe that Lizzie Borden did not dice up her dad with an axe. And, you know what, I think my adorable Miss Marple will also agree with me over a cup of tea. Did anyone ask where her sisters were at the time of daddy's death? I have not a clue since I can't seem to find the court records on this trial. I googled it and it does not exist. (OK, I know I'm reaching here since Edward made this up, I think. LOL)

But I have taken his original drawing of the neglected murderess and added the hither to unknown sisters into the mix. Yes, the applause you hear is Miss Marple, either trying to spur me on or trying to get my attention because I am so far off base. I will select the first one. Yes, after church the sisters and daddy returned home. They were the pillars of the local community (just like the Bordens). But no one knew what went on behind closed doors.

I believe there is not enough evidence that CSI, aka Scotland Yard, has presented here and so need to declare a mistrial. I am proclaiming that she (Miss Emily) is a misunderstood "suspected" murderess. There are too many motives here when one starts to talk to the other two sisters. We won't go into what possible motives there might be, I will let you use your imagination. Yes, it could be money, it could be abuse, it could be daddy got tired of all the whining and went nuts, who knows. I will leave you with the mission of sorting this all out and then letting me know.



Just remember - what happens when you have three single women in one house suffering PMS. Daddy never had a chance and is now resting in Peace, we hope. Sorry, Edward, my heart here belongs to Daddy after reviewing the evidence. Miss Marple is still stewing in her tea. Yes, it was the PMS theory that pushed me over the edge. . . that and the three pillows. Case Closed.

OK, I now need to get to some "house caring" issues I have let build up, what does that stupid sentence mean? I have to go clean the downstairs. I have given up on the chaos in this room! And I think I will put in my Miss Marple DVDs as background noise. I may or may not be back later today!

Another Odd Fact for 2009

Yes, we know how much we love these and this will be a quick post for the end of the week Friday. It has been a good week and what better way to end it than with this little e-mail making the rounds on the web.

Yes, and I am also listening to another Odd book by Dean Koontz, I am really starting to like this series and am getting use to the actor who is reading the audio book. I am going to have to admit there is NO better voice than the one that read all of the Harry Potter books. I fell in love with that guy.

OK, here we go:

Your Age by Chocolate Math (the email had wonderful images of chocolate - just use your imagination.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759.... If you haven't, add 1758

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number -- The first digit of this was your original number (i.e. how many times you want to have chocolate each week). The next two numbers are your age (oh yes it is!!)

Odd fact: This is the only year (2009) it will ever work, so spread it around while it lasts. Here's to chocolate!

Go on - you deserve one! YES, I am going to eat it tonight.

Neglected Murderess for June from Edward Gorey

Hmmmmm for those who follow my blog, you know if we are getting close to June 1, it can only mean it is time to drag the Gorey calendar off the wall and begin to work on yet another neglected murderess. A week or so before the month ends I start with the antsy ants in my tummy thinking OH NO, no way can I do another drawing and make it mine. No more! But then I remember all the wonderful calendar creations I have seen out in blogland and I just pull myself up by my bootstraps (OK, if I had some I would, I betcha).... and I stop thinking and start "coloring" and it begins to come together.

When flipping to June's featured female, Lady Violet Natheless, we discover that she has strangled the Hon. Opal Gentian at Gilravage Hall on Midsummer's Eve, 1925. June 23rd is Midsumer's Eve and is said to mark the ancient middle of summer, the astronomical beginning of summer, and the nativity of St. John the Baptist. Some also claim that the fairies dance at midnight on the Eve. Here is an interesting little factoid which I am certain Edward knew - there is a Gentian Violet. Do tell....... you know he knew....

OK, back to the Gorey drawing, we see the Lady likes to dress like the Lord of the Manor. You can only imagine what I thought of ??? Yup, same thing you did. Fashion is everything? or Lover's quarrels can be so ugly especially (and this is where my mind starts making the story mine) when you have someone hiding behind the peacock feather.

Oh my, oh my, dear readers, you know there is always a Mrs. Peacock in the story...... or is that Miss Peacock as I envision in my scenario. What can you say, how about, "Shame on you, Violet. Shame on you."

On this piece I was going to literally sew some fringe on the table cloth but changed my mind when the beads and plastic purple feathers were not cooperating. Instead I just cut it all up and individually added each one, then used a favorite "cover-up" called glitter.... Always remember, sparkle is good. Sparkle is really good!

I felt it did give a three-D look to the work. Below you will see my imagined dearly departed Opal who looks like a cheery ol' gal. OK, obviously her red crown does clash with Lady V's purple tux..... I know......

When all is said and done - it always comes down to fashion issues....

As our dear Tim would say on Project Runway - Make it Work! Hopefully, I did and hope you enjoy the final product.

P.S. - I'm not sure which of the three were wearing the black garter. I don't wanna go there... I just don't wanna go there.

Angelica Transome

Today is February 1st. You know what time it is? Time for the next installment of our artfully altered Edward Gorey Neglected Murderesses calender. Like where did January go, huh?

In a synopsis found on the Barnes & Noble web site we discover a little more of who Angelica was.... well maybe. I tried, once again, to google the murderess. Did I look long enough, probably not. However, I stopped looking when I found this gem about Angelica. I did not write this.

This is a quote directly from the Barnes & Noble site. I would recommend that you go over and check it out. The calendar is available for sale and it seems to me that Barnes is giving more info on the murderesses than google! Thank you Barnes & Noble. AND, please, support your local book store, please, please, please!

"Christened Angelica Transome, in a village infelicitously named Nether Postlude, a girl might be tempted to behave ghoulishly. And having misbehaved, might she not think herself deserving of a headline or two, possibly a mini-series, if only after the hangman had got her? But no. Neglected was Angelica and neglected too were the eleven other thugs, poisoners, sportswomen, and hobbyists assembled here for a belated commemoration. If not for Gorey's droll sleuthing, we might never have appreciated the important part women have played in the history of homicide."



Is she not a beauty? I can honestly say I understand Angelica's frustration with her little brother. Did I ever want to do mine in? I take the 5th. Did I try? I take the 5th. The tricycle with me on it just happened to fly down the stairs into him and his bottle - however, I didn't do it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I decided to add the clipart of the "nun" I found at Charming Sam's web site. At first I thought maybe Angelica was remorseful and joined the nunnery? Personally, I like whomever wrote the synopsis on Barnes & Noble site. So, most likely the sweet nun is praying for Angela's soul..... sounds plausible?



You can see the "before" look in the first photo on this blog. You know, Edward was just waiting for a collage job! This is the first page to be layered. I have to admit that when I received the calendar as a Christmas gift, I went out on a search for a second one so I could do some cut and pasting (if I wanted to) each month. It works.... Below is the finished product. Edward - please do not roll over in your grave, big guy. I love you. The world is a little less spooky following your passing into the afterlife.

And, before I leave you, I have to say how disappointed I was that Roger Federer did not win the Australia Open. Rafael Nadal was just too good on this day. I was cheering for you Roger. You are so easy on the eyes. I woke up at 3:30 am this morning and turned ESPN2 on to see the live match. I woke up at 3:30 am because I was hacking from this cold. I dozed off and on and then finally got up only to see the 5th set where Roger lost sight of the goal (I think) or he was just dead tired. I have no idea how these two guys played this game so intense, so hard, so full of soul..... and yes so full of tears at the end. Sorry Roger, love you.

Xmas at Honeysuckle Breeze

I sorta disappeared on you this week. Not my idea but these things happen especially at this time of the year. I was busy with stuff. It is time for a regular colonoscopy -- been 6 years -- however, there is one difference between this and the last time....... blood thinners and an artificial aortic valve. Ta Da! So the doctor (same as last time) has decided because of the blood thinners, no family history, no problems, and finally - a very twisty turney colon (mine, that would be which was a SURPRISE to her last time around) --it might be that we might try something else. SOMETHING ELSE - uh oh - this is never good is it? It is called a barium enema. OH CRAP, batman and guess what - the crafty little beasties could get me in on Friday (like yesterday) which meant I started cleaning the system out on Thursday and then if anything looks suspicious we can do a colonoscopy -- hmmmm.
In other words, it has been an interesting week. Enough said on this topic. I am not necessarily loving the color of white gesso, or white chalk, or white anything that flows like gravy - in or out. OK OK OK - I'm stopping. I wish I had taken my digital camera - really.... you would have loved it. Looked like a scene from Dr. Giggles - if you like those kind of tongue-in-cheek stylish horror movies. It was a 1992 - I remember it well. Nope, I'm not done - called James the Trainer told him I could not work out yesterday because I couldn't do squats... . ... OK, I'm done with the jokes. Merry Xmas...

AND, the Xmas cactus are in bloom - (I just typed blood - oh dear too early this morning for that!) .... They have been with me for years and years and usually bloom at Thanksgiving and in March. This year they, obviously, decided if I was not going to decorate (see my reason below) for Xmas they would!

Christmas is upon us. I have not decorated that home this year since I will be headed for San Antonio on Dec. 30 for a board meeting and won't return until Jan. 4. However, last night I did try to get in the mood after the BE (and that does not stand for "be" happy).... So I got into the hidey hole under the stairs and got one of the Xmas wreaths out and put on the door. I managed - oh my God - to get all of the Xmas gifts I have bought for dear ones wrapped. No kidding, Sherlock. I don't have the Xmas cards done yet but I have the gifts wrapped. Cards are for today and we will see if I post this evening with a "success" story - or not.

I bought me a new calendar for 2009 and plan to decorate it each month. Edward Gorey ROCKS!Wish I could have gotten in his mind. The man is my kind of man....... no more needs to be said. His calendar for this year is a year of neglected murderesses...... oh boy. I can't wait to decorate each month and share the creation with you. In honor of my new found calendar I had to go and grab my Gorey cup. I love PBS Mystery -- some of the time just for the opening and Gorey introduction to the show. I'm telling you - Edward speaks to me. I heart him as you can tell!

My Mirage in HONeysuckle LAnd.......? ? ?

WOW - can it get any better in my world, I ask you? Can it? THEY'RE BACK.... (imagine spooky music here) . . . OK, some of you will remember my Count Gore photos, how could you forget them or the lunch I told you about on September 23 when this was just a new-born bloggie. Talk about tripping through your past or is that past life or is it just tripppin'. Just read a post about that little experience, kind of, entitled, "My Mirage Hooks me up with the Incorrigible Witch who hooks me up with Count Gore." I laughed out loud. Check it out at The Diamond Island web site.

Not to digress too much, my favorite Diamond Island voyager describes our first meeting (he is an incredible writer especially if he says wonderful things about me-it is all about me, isn't it, lie if you have too, ok):

"One such guest star I saw on the tube was a person I didn’t know at the time, but would later in life. By day she is honeysuckle, but by night she’s the Incorrigible Witch. We met each other at our mutual employer, and in a twist of fate that can only be called Twilight Zone meets Funky Town, discovered we both loved the Count."OK, I'm still good with it......As I stared at her photo album of her visit to the Count, I discovered I’d seen her on TV. I mean, it’s one of the more vivid memories I have of those days - her getting into the Count’s Coffin to gag jokes from the studio staff while her friend looks on in shock. Life is weird. We both look up Count Gore, and find out he has a website. Then we find out he’d moved back to Northern Virginia! She manages to get a “date” with him and catch up on old times, since she finds out they live in the same area. This is freaking me out. I got to hand it to the Incorrigible Witch, she’s got some real brass and isn’t afraid to get into the thick of strange adventures!"

OK, the upshot of all of this is that the Count stopped by our office and dropped off a personally autographed photo for our brave voyager who is out there killing bees and killer clowns from outer space (one of my favorite B horror movies). Too bad my Diamond Island voyager will not let me leave comments.

If I could, I would say to him, "Oh my little Le Petit Poucet.... -- hexe the incorrigible witchy poo loves you. Got gingerbread cookies here at the house and a nice BIG oven along with a few coffins. Come on over, you and Gretel, and I will serve you for lunch/ uh, serve you lunch. Love Hexe."

Just another rainy day in my world

Just a quick update on my lunch date yesterday. YES, I did indeed have lunch with the Count who came incognito as Dick who rode a bike to lunch with a cute red baseball hat. Well, I suppose Count-type guys can get away with that..... I think.... I think I made a special effort to look really cute, after all at my age one needs all the help they can muster up!

It was fun catching up after one meeting and 23 years later. It is always fun how those long ago 30-something encounters live on in your mind for years and years and years - who said "get a life" -- I have one, thank-you! Nope, no photos from lunch when one is incognito one doesn't take photos. Who knows, maybe in another 23 years we will set another lunch...... AH HA - gives me an idea on another post at some time -- then and now. Yup, I have a few too many of those stories to share. . . . as I think most of us do if we are willing to admit it. Hickey's revisited, well I think the nose and chin got in the way and downtown Herndon at lunchtime -- not the same atmosphere as a dank, dark, spooky dungeon with a coffin. Ho Hum - the legend lives on only in my mind!?!

Hot date -- well kind of in my kind of world.....

The Year: 1985

The Show: Count Gore / Creature Feature

Milestone: Got hickey

Found a rubber stamp at Angela's Happy Stamper recently and it says: "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." I looked at that stamp for weeks - obviously no one bought it. Then all of a sudden I'm thinking I can use it. I get it. I don't think we need to go into the "back story" here -- just know that on an interesting night a long time ago (1985) I met the Count and the rest is history..... or not. I haven't seen him again in 23 years. Except tomorrow (Wednesday) for lunch. Don't ask how I reconnected - weird things happen in my world. The Count was on Channel 20 for many years, then at some point moved out of the area, and then in 2005 moved back into the area. He has the COOLEST web site.... at http://countgore.com/gore/. When you Google the Count the description comes up: "Vampire horror host sex symbol Count Gore De Vol brings you Creature Feature, with vampires, zombies, werewolf, witches, monsters, ghouls, goblins, ..." Oh well, whatever rocks your boat.... I suppose. Anyway, me and Count will have a very public lunch and then another 25 years will pass and he will have by that time become a great grandfather or more Igors running amok in the dungeon or something or other. Will keep you posted, maybe. My life is pretty fun sitting and smelling the honeysuckles......