Hi Ho Hi Ho its off to work I go........

Good evening my little honeysuckle breezers! Yes, I just completed my second day back at work and it was not too bad! In fact, I am feeling pretty darn good today. Life is good AND I am so excited that I WAS able to create and finish my "Mexico" pages on Saturday and Sunday. I so enjoyed having my brother and nephew here this past week. They were a wonderful pick-me-ups. AND, my dear nephew wrote about me on his blog. *blush* *blush* ....

You can read it by clicking on this link. He is so special and is not only my nephew but also my Godson. I love you Aaron! If you read the next day on his blog, you can see how his father (my bro) and I literally drive him over the wall with not only our food "touching" but mishing and mashing together. I swear Jim and I do it on purpose sometime to see him turn pea green - nah, we wouldn't do that would we????

Well, the exciting thing is I was in the mood to create and here we go on a little journey, boys and girls, a little journey into the land of Mexico. If you remember, I am in an art exchange group that I call 6 x 6. This past month I was to create pages for Dianne dealing with her theme of "Mexico." In an earlier post I told you about looking for inspiration in the grocery store,

In the book stores, In the Halloween aisle,

It was like Mexico was just not "coming" to me....... more food was bought,

And then it happened, oh the carnage,

And here are the sneak peeks. I can't show you all of the completed pages until Dianne receives them in the mail and I just got them out today..... When all was said and done - this creation gave me a sense of soaring which I haven't had lately. I was able to focus on art and art alone! Thank you, Jesus! It was liberating. Enjoy:

And finally, this one I call, "Good Night, Sweet Prince,"

Honeysuckles Breezing with a day out

I was able to have a day out with Larcy and Harley for the first time since a week ago last Tuesday when I came back from the hospital. WOW. It was fun. We headed to lunch at a Chinese Restaurant where Harley was beside himself at the chance of freedom! Yes, Oliver Pup had to stay at home, so Harley had Larcy all to himself..... Woof Wo0f

A lovely slow lunch with no place to go, no place to be, no appointments to keep.... could get use to this idea...

After lunch, Harley decided to explore the restaurant beginning with a sailing vessel,

A conversation with a very wise old man and doing his best Buddha impression,

And after that, it was decided to leave our Asian oasis and head over to the book store where I wanted to find a book featured on Imus in the Morning, The Emperor of all Maladies, which you can find over at Amazon. Click on the link and you can read the reviews about this ancient ancient disease. From the book,

"It was in the time of Hippocrates, around 400 BC, that a word for cancer first appeared in the medical literature: karkinos, from the Greek word for 'crab.' The tumor with its clutch of swollen blood vessels around it, reminded Hippocrates of a crab dug in the sand with its legs spread in a circle."

Once again - check out the reviews. I am now waiting for my brother and nephew to drive from St. Louis. They will be here late tonight. Wishing all of you a Happy Thanksgiving. Remember there are so many things to be grateful for and if you aren't - you better start a gratitude journal! Here is a tag from Jill's "What Cancer Cannot Do:"

In closing, Harley wanted the last word (geez)... his motto today is to "keep on trucking, putting one foot in front of the other, head held high, a song in your heart, a glint in your eye, and a smile on your face!" Hugs to all!

Whoop Whoop or Woot Woot or woof wooof?

I know my little peeps - weird title - but I am feeling good tonight and had a pretty positive report from my doctor this morning. Hey, I don't have an ugly little drain coming out of my body. W H O O P!

WHY did Harley make a doctor's appointment for me at 8 AM in the morning (here my screech). WOW, but hey, got a little make-up on and out the door and Patricia got me there on time.

Dr. Diaz took the drain out and said she had some good news and some "bad" news. Good News: Lymph node is clear of cancer and my cancer is Stage 1. Bad News: I have to go back in for one more surgery to make sure she has it all out.

From what I understand, you have to cut out enough section to get a "clean" margin and mine was not clean. So she will go back in the second week in January and take more out. She said if she had that report on Monday when we did the second surgery for the internal bleeding, she could have done it then. But she said visually, it looks fine and only shows up under the microscope. Originally she said 4 weeks to have surgery but, because of a business trip, I asked if she had any problems waiting until January 12. She said - not a problem - and it would give my body a little longer to heal.

You know I am trying to be honest with you...... Honestly - - just not ready to go back into surgery in 4 weeks and would like to do Christmas! LOL. My brother and nephew are showing up for Thanksgiving so that should be fun. I am not cooking and am going to order the dinner tomorrow. Dear dear Larcy and Patricia are my angels and are taking good care of me..... and, of course, Oliver comes over to give me sloppy puppy kisses. So I really do feel pretty good today. Thank you for your prayers and healing thoughts you have been sending my way. I am reading every comment you leave but just a little too tired to send you an email back. In closing another page from Jill's beautiful "What Cancer Cannot Do" tag book:

Not much more to say on this tag.... but with faith in your Higher Power (mine happens to be Jesus) you can walk through any storm with your heart and soul intact. Yes, there are bumps and sore spots and you just take baby steps if you need to and do it one step at a time. Hugs to all and gonna have some salmon and roasted veggies tonight and them watch them crazy guys with Ghost Adventures over on the Travel Channel.

What Cancer Cannot Do......

OK my little honeysuckle breezers, after a small set-back, we are hanging in there, slowly healing. Had a second operation on Monday when my blood thinner medicine acted up and my trusty doctor had to put a drain in to get rid of some unwelcome built-up blood which caused painful swelling. Dolly Parton was getting jealous there……. Yup, really big bad swelling. Spent Monday and Monday night in the hospital and got back home on Tuesday. I have just been hanging out. Positive Note: Without pain medication!

Tuesday, my trainer (James) and other trainer (Mary) brought me home from the hospital while my tennis bud (and breast-cancer survivor) Barbara brought me some food and a beautiful flower. (Yes, Patty - it is a swan! *wink*)

Barbara had me laughing and smiling (OK probably still on drugs) and I really needed that. Going through some weird feelings right now and I know those of you who have been there know what I am talking about. At times I don't want to talk on the phone or in person to anyone for that matter. I don’t want to discuss “breast cancer” and keep reliving the diagnosis, the operations, the soon to be recovery. I just don’t want to and I don’t think I am unusual about this. I know that there are those out there who really are concerned, and of course, with family and a few special friends, I do go into a lot of details with them. But not others.

I’m on heavy duty antibiotics for 14 days. Last night, (yes a positive note here) I was able to sleep in my own bed for close to 5 hours instead of jumping back and forth between my two recliners downstairs. I’m starting to eat which is good…. And hoping my blood pressure will start to come up a little. I am tiring out.

OK in closing, I told you I would show you more of the wonderful book Jill sent…. And we will end this post with these two pages. I love this last page: quote on stamp (which I also have) is "Every step you take is a step away from where you used to be."

It cannot conquer the spirit. I am banking on this one. I have not been up here at the computer since Saturday and I am already weary and need to get back downstairs. Yes my drain is bothering me. ughies..... But on a positive note - no swelling no pain. *BIG Grin* here.

I know cancer cannot conquer the spirit.... i just need to remind me of that during the day. This is an odd place to cut this post off, but I am waiting for Larcy and Oliver to come over and need to be downstairs. Thank you for your emails, cards (!!!), and prayers. I love you all, just keep me still in your prayers. I've got a doctor's appointment for 8 am in the morning....... and will let you know how it goes.

You all are my Sunshine!

Yes, my little honeysuckle peeps, I made it through yesterday. Moving slowly today and mainly staying in my recliner nibbling and napping. What a day it was but you know what, I met a lot of marvelous folks who care deeply about all of us. (And had two wonderful friends taking care of me-they did it in shifts!) It was a long day, didn't get home till 10:00pm last night. So, if you remember on Thursday, I could chomp down on food until midnight.

Which I did,

Then Friday morning I was allowed 4 ozs prior to 9am. 4 ozs is not a lot but better than nothing. I chose coffee just in case I might get a caffeine headache during the day, I chose coffee and so did Harley. Oh WOW did it taste good all 4 ozs and was to be last liquid I got until 8:30pm Friday night.

We arrived at the Women's Imaging Center at 10:00 am for the first round of procedures prior to the surgery. Harley helped check me in.... what a little dude! Them nurses were makin' eyes at him and he was just lovin' it....


After that round of procedures which were not as painful as the next round and which I was SO not looking forward to..... we walk across the street (while the numbing meds are suppose to be working... looked like whipped cream, yes I was hungry) to the....

the Rear Entrance... What is this, you already ashamed of Harley and me. The REAR ENTRANCE? The answer was "no" ... this was how the celebs got in without the photogs. OK, not drugged enough to accept this but will live with it. Got the nuclear medicine injected into me in three places with tiny ugly burning painful needles. OK, needles weren't bad but the nukes were. You know what they (yes the nurses) said? I got the bestest ever doctor to inject the stuff - but - being the best he does it the really correct way and so it hurts a lot more than some other doctors. What a line that was, he was just lucky nurse was holding down left arm because it was in the correct position to come up and hit him in the side of the head and take him out. If i ever ever have to do that one again - we are sending in the Harley or doing heavy duty meds and i am in la la land. O U C H......

Poor Harley was not convinced he was going in the Patient's Belonging Bag and put his paw down and refused to go any further,

Instead, he help the nurse check me in and began to review the stats.
He was even able to meet the surgeon and go over details of my after-care recovery, no lifting heavy weights for 10 days, no tennis for 10 days - i didn't hear anything after that trying to count on two hands what date the 10 days were....... oh yes, did hear that they were running behind in OR and my surgery was delayed from 1:00 to 3:00pm. I began muttering what I wanted to eat, bacon and eggs, ice cream, roast, stew, more pumpkin pie - no one was writing the order down. Then I gave up and asked for drugs. Eventually I met the man I fell in love with - the anesthesiologist who promised me drugs. I was happy and don't remember too much after that .... except eventually I woke up in the recovery room.
The operation took 3 hours since surgeon could not find too many lymph nodes, do tell, didn't know they could get lost. However the one (I think she found two)she did find was clean of cancer. Whoop. I have three incisions and will see her next week for our next steps. Of course, she took out the mass and then some to make sure she got it all. She is very good! I vaguely remember seeing her in the recovery room. Got home, and have been napping and nibbling ever since. Today, of all days, what do you think arrived at my door? A box from a dear artist in California who reads this blog but never leaves comments. Jill Robertson sent me an email and requested my address so she could send me something,
The photo above was the "backside" of the box..... and inside was a tag book and two other items. But I want to draw your attention to the tag book,
You will see more of it this week, but right now Harley is pulling on my good arm to go and lay back down in the recliner. Need to close my eyes. I am taking Tylenol - have the heavy duty pills but I don't think the pain is that bad to break open the bottle, y e t - that is... I will if I need them. Will try to get back with you tomorrow. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers, good wishes, and hugs and love, it has gotten me thru this journey so far and I feel so blessed to have you all in my life.
I'm off to nap! H UGGGGGSSSSSS.........

Fight like a Girl -- you Honeysuckler

7:30AM: This blog will be in several pieces today. Although a holiday, I am headed to work to catch up on some tasks that need to be done before surgery tomorrow. Yes, to all, the surgery and diagnosis has sunk in a while ago but as the minutes and seconds tick away, it seems to get a little tense - not a lot - but a little more tense.

Trying to be as honest as I can with you. Walking a tightrope right now. However, I believe in positive thinking, prayer, and the s(S)pirt and the soul and - and - and I don't want the spirit muddled with anything that would even be close to a "doubt" - I know you get my drift.

So when the going gets tough, boys and girls, the tough go shopping. Hey, Harley went along for the ride, yes he did. He hit the button that read "Enter".... and sent the order!

I had to do this (notice the *had*), yessireee, had to. I just bought a lounge pant and tee that reads, "Fight Like A Girl" (had I designed it probably would have added, 'you woose')," and a bracelet that is called "Hope Slide Bracelet" over at Signals - one of my fav stomping grounds.

To see the items click on these two links: Pants & Tee and Bracelet

They already make me feel warm and comfy..... My to-do list today involves:

1) Lunch with an ole ole friend who is in from the Chicago-area (Harriet). She buys me lunch each year on my "work" anniversary - I started on November 12, 1979. She never ever forgets.

(5:00PM - Harley enjoyed his grilled cheese and ham and fries and ice tea at lunch! - Me tooo)

2) Call my insurance company to complain to any numnut that will listen on how sensitive their letter was yesterday announcing they notified the surgeon that this surgery might not be covered.

(5:19PM - Instead called my angel nurse Cindy at the Breast Surgeon's office and she said - forget it - she took care of it on Monday and she called the insurance company for me - lovin' these angels - if you are local or not and want the link to this incredible group, let me know)

3) Stop by the MRI to pick up my films

(5:23PM - crap - forgot this one - will maybe do tomorrow - OK, have Patricia do it while I am in surgery)

4) Play tennis at 1pm

(5:24PM - like from 1PM to 2:15PM - just too much fun and I told James and Mary guess it didn't matter if my legs would be sore tomorrow or N O T - I, for the most part, won't remember! LOL)

5) Head home after grocery store!
(5:26PM - oh did I STOP at the grocery store. Harley went in with me and we bought some good treats for tonight and tomorrow evening and....
And then the ultimate before the drive home at 2:45PM, Pumpkin Spice Latte Grande with ice and whipped cream, baby:

This morning I wrote this: "Will be posting throughout the day so you can keep up with my highs and lows today. Huggies - anyone?"

I was swinging hot and cold (emotionally-LOL) this morning until lunch and when I saw Harriet (age 83) in all her beauty my spirits lifted and I forgot my mini-mood swings. And then I went to be with James and Mary on the tennis courts - and I really was having fun and forgot those stupid little "low" points this morning. And now, Harley and I will indulge in salmon, roasted veggies, steamed sticky rice, ice creams, cookies, and a new Martha Stewart magazine...... hmmm, I have until midnight to eat all I want. That is our story and we are "sticking" to it:

So my little honeysuckle peepers -- Not sure when I will post again - maybe midnight - who knows or maybe tomorrow - depends on the heavy duty drugs I might be on : ) but until the next time - remember keep on truckin' in grace and spirit and all will be well. Hugs and smooches to you! Yes, another eve of mindless TV watching - it really does do wonders for your mood! Don't worry, Harley will keep you posted and will be taking excellent care of me along with a few friends. ; )

She who Searches

I apologize to the author of this quote - I don't know who it is. This small page is in a little journal 5 1/2" x 3 1/2" and was created using various sources: a bag from Disney; an image from a 2004 journal which included the quote; and a tag from Anthropologie.

The quote:

She who searches for a brighter tomorrow,
and finds no happiness today,
has missed the meaning of life
Somewhere along the way.

I tried to google it but came up with nothing. This quote is very important to me right now.

On Tuesday, after work, I was able to get out and hit tennis balls from about 4:30 to 5:15. That felt good. Hitting something. It felt good. Tomorrow on the holiday I am going in to work catching up on stuff before surgery on Friday. Today I had phone calls from nurses. My "nurse navigator" called to give me the sordid details of the upcoming surgery. Little needles and things, OH my.............. (loving the phrase, "Ignorance is Bliss" - well it was... LOL)

And the when I get home tonight I have a letter from my insurance company telling me they contacted my doctor wanting more "clinical information documenting your symptoms and related clinical information to support the medial need for the request" of a "Partial Mastectomy-With Axillary Lymphadectomy" - SAY WHAT, Sherlock? Hmmmmmm, we will have some discussions Friday before surgery, hopefully before they terrorize me with teeney tiny little needles. C r u m b....... Harley, come here right now. *stomps foot* Darn it, he is hiding.

H A R L E Y......

He is not budging.... All I gotta say - Harley is growing boobies (like NOW) and will be trying out the surgery first before me. I don't care how much he protests. Darn it, come here
H A R L E Y...... now.... put the phone down Harley....

OK, Harley and I will will get through this. Just getting tired of all the phone calls and want the surgery over with now..... Harley wants all of you to take the pledge - remember to never miss your annual mammogram. He is raising his arm and you do it with him. Remember, I did not miss mine and hopefully, by catching this early, this will be good. The doctor's office did tell me the MRI had "no surprises" which is good. *wink*


And, of course, the hospital, doctors, and nurses will have no idea that Harley is coming with me on Friday..... once I find him, he is hiding again. Just wanted to check in with you AND thank all of you for your marvelous, comforting remarks and emails. There are a number of you out there reading this that have been through the process, please know how much it means to me when I receive your words of wisdom!

Let's hear it for happiness today. Don't live in the future. Nope, just today, that is about all you can deal with right now....which is pretty good. Survivor Night! Yes, my little peeps, more mindless TV tonight Survivor and Ghost Hunters. Will be back with you tomorrow after getting work done in the office and hitting some more tennis balls. Hugs to all,